OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
