Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
