you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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