don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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