Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's like iHOP with fire
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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