This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
