I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
