In America we eat man semen.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i think im in europe. pls send help
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
