He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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