you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
