Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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