wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
