I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
