WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They took my balls.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
