I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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