Porn is love you can see.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
