IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
