sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
