that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
