I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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