nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
