look no pants
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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