I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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