I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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