Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
