After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
