Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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