oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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