I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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