Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
