I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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