Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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