I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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