Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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