so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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