U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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