thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
