i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
