we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
