The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
