I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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