Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
