Do you still have your period?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
