I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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