If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize