:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
