on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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