Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i came on her dog
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
