So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
