the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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