no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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