seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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