whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
