its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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